Performing at the University of Redlands at a place called “Java the Hutt.”

Java. The. Hutt.

College kids are adorable.

concoctedconversations:

Employee:  Boss, our worries are over! I got a great idea for a new snack.

Boss:  I can’t wait to hear it.

Employee:  Ok, what’s everyone’s favorite food?

Boss:  Pizza.

Employee:  Besides that.

Boss:  Meat.

Employee:  Blammo. Now don’t you hate how eating meat can make you tired?

Boss:  The only reason I stop eating turkey every year at Thanksgiving is because I fall asleep at the table.

Employee:  I mean, how many times have you been eating beef jerky and drinking a cup of coffee wishing they could be the same thing?

Boss:  Every morning.

Employee:  What if I told you we can make meat that not only won’t make you tired, but will actually make you… not tired.

Boss:  Shut. Your. Mouth.

Employee:  We call it… Perky Jerky.

Beat.

Boss:  You brilliant sonofabitch. How?

Employee:  Science.

Boss:  Of course! 

The boss tears open a bag of Perk Jerky and pours it in his mouth.

Boss:  I’m never going to fall asleep!

Soooo this is a real thing.

Watch The Life and Times of Tim on HBO tonight. I didn’t edit either of these episodes, but they are both some of my favorites from this season. Especially “Game Night.” It’s just so fucked up. It’s great.

Nathan Barnatt is one of the most prolific people I have ever met. Will you just watch this already? The shot at 3:45 is worth it alone.

From the getting-a-blowjob-while-playing-the-guitar-scene in 1984’s Hardbodies.

Acting motherfuckers. 

HARDBODIES

If you guys want to see a real bag of crap of a movie, may I recommend watching Hardbodies on Netflix Instant? It’s hard to know where to begin with this one, but the movie is basically about a young guy helping three older (disgusting looking) men fool women into having sex with them. Some of the things you will see are:

- A guy who wears the shirt “Boogie Till You Puke” for the entire movie (which takes places over multiple days)

- Kenneth from Can’t Buy Me Love in drag. You know, the nerdy red-haired friend of Ronald MIller who yells, “You shit on my house!”

- A scene where an old guy plays a guitar while getting a blowjob and then breaks the string when he ejaculates.

- A joke where one of the older disgusting guys calls the other older disgusting guy “an asshole” and then the third older disgusting guy says, “You guys want to see an asshole?” and then turns around and bends over. It’s fucking terrible.

Like I said, it’s a real bag of crap. I can’t recommend it enough. And the best part? There’s a sequel.

My friends made a sketch and half my face makes an appearance in it. If you watch the whole thing, I have it on good word that my entire face might just make an appearance.

Sincerely,
Ron “Reactions” Babcock

PS - They have a really amazing video of them dancing shirtless in an Abercrombie & Fitch here that you should really watch.

jprescott:

This is TOMORROW NIGHT! 

8pm at the Little Modern Theater : 6474 Santa Monica Blvd. Los Angeles, 90038. 

ONLY 5-BUCKS! FREE PRIZES! GOOD TIMES!

Hosted by Me! And America’s Poolboy Shawn Pearlman! You don’t wanna miss it!

wha what

Over the holidays, I cleaned out a bunch of stuff in my attic and came across my old water bottle. As the layers upon layers of stickers show, I had this thing for years. I could never throw it away, even though it’s made of the bad plastic that gives you cancer or whatever. It’s crap like this that I get attached to — water bottles, sneakers, sandals, basically anything that would accompany you during “your travels.” I mean, I once hung onto a pair of zip-off pants for about five years too long.

Zip. Off’s.

But in an effort to cut down on my stuff at home, I finally bid adieu to my cancer-causing water bottle. But I want you take a look at the pictures and just imagine how many times I tried to ingratiate myself to a cute girl at a campfire by telling her all about the stickers on my water bottle.*

* Guys, this is a terrible idea. Just kiss her already.

Not a good way to start my Saturday.