Just got a letter from the judge thanking me for my jury service. My three favorite parts:

1. It’s addressed “Dear Babcock”, which is how my drunk comic friends usually address me.

2. The thank you is in quotes, which makes me think that he’s being sarcastic (even though he’s most likely not.)

3. He actually thanks me. Listen judge, you can thank me all you want, but we both know that the only reason I was there was because it was against the law not to. It’s kinda like writing to an inmate and thanking him for serving all that prison time.

In any case, my civic duty has been served which now means I get to lord it over all the people who deliberately tried to get out. Tsk, tsk. Look forward to me looking down my nose at you in shame.