concoctedconversations:

LASERDISCS UNLIMITED STORE
(which was a real store in the town my friend grew up in)

Circa 1995 - The phone rings. Frank, the owner of LASERDISCS UNLIMITED picks up. Marty, his brother and co-owner, is on the other end.

Frank:  Hello?

Marty:  Frank!

Frank:  Oh hey Marty, what’s up?

Marty:  Toshiba! Sony! Panasonic! They’re all coming out with DVD’s, we’re screwed!

Frank:  Whoa, slow down pal. 

Marty:  DVD’s Frank!

Frank:  DV what now?

Marty:  Digital Video Discs. D-V-D’s. They’re the next big thing.

Frank:  Laserdiscs are the next big thing Marty. They have the word “laser” in it. If that’s not a next-big-thing-indicator, I don’t know what is. 

Marty:  Frank, we got to get rid of these Laserdiscs and buy DVD’s!

Frank:  What and change the name of the store from Laserdiscs Unlimited? No way. 

Marty:  If we don’t, we’re going to go out of business!

Frank:  Impossible! There’s no way they are better than the cutting edge of technology of Laserdiscs.

Marty:  But that’s just the thing Frank, they are.

Frank:  Oh really? Well how big are they? Are they as small as a serving tray?

Marty:  Smaller! They’re the same size as a CD.

Frank:  A CD? Jesus, really? Wow. Well if they’re that small, you probably have to have eight or nine of them to play just one movie. 

Marty:  You just need the one! And they all these extras on them too. Like behind the scenes documentaries and stuff.

Frank:  Well you’re definitely paying for all that. Way more than a Laserdisc which is a steal at $65. 

Marty:  They’re $18 each!

Frank:  Goddammit…Well I bet they have nowhere near the selection that Laserdiscs offer.

Marty:  You can pretty much get every movie ever. 

Frank:  The player! The player has to be a monstrosity to handle these data heavy DVD’s. 

Marty:  It’s about the size of a briefcase.

Frank:  So it’s not the size of a Xerox machine then?

Marty:  Nope. Briefcase.

Frank:  I really wish I didn’t invest all of dad’s money into Laserdiscs. 

Marty:  I gotta take a stress crap.

Frank:  Me too brother.

They hang up the phone and poo.