daveholmes:

So indeed I got put on a jury. And while I can’t tell you what the case is about, I can say that during the afternoon session, I booked a freelance gig I’ve been trying to land for months, and it’s right in the middle of this case and I can’t move it. So I’m going to throw myself on the mercy of…

I spent 12 days of my summer serving on a jury. I missed out on a commercial callback and about $1000 worth of freelance work. The level of how fickle the LA Court System is with people’s time is infuriating. For example, we would be told to arrive at court at 8AM only to start hearing the case at 11AM. This happened more than once. At first the trial is boring, but once you accept the fact that you are indeed on a jury, it will become interesting or at least tolerable (kinda like a terminal illness but at much lower stakes).

My suggestions to make this bearable is as follows:

1. Your jury ID gets you into the MOCA for free. Surrounding yourself with priceless works of art will help dissipiate your rage for the court system, so go get your Pollock on yo.

2. I highly recommend taking the Metro if you live near a stop. It goes right to the courthouse and you don’t have to deal with traffic on the 101 or parking at the Disney Concert Hall. Best of all, they give you an unlimited-ride card for free.

3. I’m all for independent businesses, but the coffee at the snack bar next to the jury room tastes like it was brewed in a vat of sugar tar. Pony up the extra cash for the Starbuck’s outside. A good rule of thumb is that the more times you see the word “gourmet” on a to-go coffee cup, the crappier that cup of coffee will be. Ahem, I present to you Exhibit A. 

4. Do not eat in the cafeteria in the Stanley Mosk Courthouse. If you want to suvive, you need to get the fuck out of that building. Even if you just go across the street to the cafe in the Disney Concert Hall, just get the hell out of that building and breathe. The best place to go is the Grand Central Market. Some of the stands are hit-or-miss, but the ambience can’t be beat. If you’re feeling frisky (and you will), do the Angel’s Flight. It’s only $0.50.

Remember to keep your eye on the prize. Do well and your civic duty might even get you one pf these babies. Wha what.*

* It wasn’t worth it. All that doing your civic duty will lead to (besides personal satisfaction) is people telling you at parties how they lied to get out of jury duty.