SIGNS THAT STANDUP SHOW YOU ARE BOOKED ON WILL BE BAD

1. There is no stage.
2. The mic is in the middle of the room. Therefore no matter how you stand your back is always to somebody.
3. There’s an audience. Huzzah! But they didn’t know there was going to be a standup show. No huzzah.
4. This conversation*:
   “Hey can we turn off the TV’s?” 
   “No.”
5. The wireless mic keeps cutting out whenever you get to a punchline. It’s like it knows when the joke is about to suck.
6. There are computers on every table with hundreds of games. Or depending on your viewpoints, hundreds of options to ignore reality. It was like giving a plate of vegetables to a child but surrounding it with twinkies. The entire audience was engrossed in an entertainment option that admittedly was far more engaging and less annoying. These computers actually had a “Comedy” button. I took a picture of one of the jokes in the “Once Upon a Pun” category. It was by far the best joke of the night.

* This didn’t happen at this particular show, but has in the past.